Real blackbird experience...

[Tigra]

Hi there!

I was looking for a place to post it but still I have no idea if this is the right one... If not, please let me know.

I’ve been keeping the story inside for two weeks because I didn’t want to make an idiot of myself but the urge to share it with somebody who is an AB-fan and would therefore understand me better was stronger than the risk of public embarrassment.

I will try to cut the long story short, still some context is necessary.

Last year my uncle had turned 50 and he celebrated it this March by going to the Philippines on his holidays. He had been suffering from a couple of diseases but doctors allowed him to go so he spent last year saving money for that. Unfortunately he happened to have a heart attack there as a result of which he passed away. So although unexpected, this death was preceded by a 3-year unrelated disease and suffering plus it was so premature… so what comes to an AB-fan’s mind? ‘Blackbird’ of course and so the song has been ringing in my ears ever since in this context which is no surprise.

The funeral took place two weeks ago. After the ceremony me and my family gathered on a car park just neighbouring the graveyard to have a smoke. All of them were chatting and I was looking at the new grave of my uncle feeling so sorry and so angry, somehow unable to accept what had happened. Although there was a considerable distance between us, I suddenly saw a black bird sitting on a headstone next to my uncle’s grave. It felt so awkward – the family chatting and me just staring at the bird, I just didn’t move, didn’t want to take my eyes off in fear that if I did, it would disappear. It took me a while to realize what I see, then I slowly reached for my mobile and made a short video but I was too amazed to take any photos – now I can only take screenshots of poor quality but still, I think the bird is quite discernible. It was sitting on the headstone for the next couple of seconds and then it flew away, leaving me completely devastated (not only about this particular death but also by its ubiquity and that we all have to die. I still can’t accept that which I suppose is a sign of my immaturity). Nobody around me noticed anything, and even if they did, without knowing the song, it wouldn’t mean anything to them.

I’m attaching pics – the bird is circled and the arrow points to the grave of my uncle. Sorry if all the story sounds stupid but I wanted to share it because although I tried to tell my family about it, including the context and so on, still I don’t think I could get the idea across… It is so strange, it brings goosebumps to me but actually I don’t know whether it consoles me or torments me even more…

[sorry for my English, it is my second language]

[Andy92]

I'm sorry for your loss. This song has meant a lot to the fans around here for almost 10 years now, so I think most of us understand how emotional that moment was for you. Music really is a powerful thing with the way it speaks to us emotionally. I'm glad you could share your story here! I hope you find comfort in the song knowing that even though your uncle isn't here anymore, he's away from the pain he was living with from his medical conditions.

Welcome to the forums too. Glad you found the site and shared your story here.

[gbruin]

Your story is not stupid. It's emotional, heartbreaking, inspiring, and it is touching that you shared it with the AB family here. We know how you felt. What feels like torment now will transition into consolation and then to appreciation as the days go by.

Best wishes to you and all your family. Your uncle sounds like he was surrounded by some wonderful people.

(oh, and your English is perfect)

[Tigra]

Oh, thank you very much, I didn't expect so warm words of kidness... That means a lot to me, I really appreciate that, thank you once more.

Last June my grandma with whom I had a really strong bond, had been dying for three weeks... Unconscious and calm, the doctors said... And although I still didn't come to terms with the fact that she is gone, I managed to whisper goodbye and thank you to her ear; and it's a completely different pair of shoes if a lady aged 75 with a child, grandchildren and great grandchildren passes away. 'Wonderful Life' was haunting me then and in November when AB visited my country I could do nothing during this song but weep (I don't want to think what other fans thought about me then)...

You are right, music is powerful... Hope it will bring consolation someday... And personally I think we've reached the limit of deaths for the next 10 years, I'm saying: 'thank you but no, we don't want anymore for the time being'.

Anyway, I am really happy I found this place and I would like to stay for a little longer if you don't mind ;-) Thank you again!

[One Drew Remains]

We understand. I lost my best friend to drug abuse when we were both 19. I post Blackbird and his initials on Facebook every year on the anniversary of his death.

I cried when they played it at my first AB show, cried during Ghost too, and I'm​ not much of a cryer.

That's one reason I love GoDGB, and use it as my sig. As a tribute. I love it and Blackbird

[Tigra]

I am so sorry hearing about the loss of your friend... A real tragedy ;-( At the same time it's so uplifting that you remember him and honour him...

I loved GoDGB at the very first "sight" as well, although for different reasons - it actually says exactly what I have in my mind about the past - those memories come to me and make me think "it used to be so great once" and make me miss those days and feel sorry that I can't go back.

Omg, it turned into so sad and depressing topic...

[Timotheus]

Beautiful little thread (in a sad way.)

Sending all my love your (and everybody who's lost somebody's) way.

[gbruin]

Omg, it turned into so sad and depressing topic...

It's more sad and depressing to forget those who have touched us. A little sadness is a reminder of how special those people were, and still are.

And that's a pretty positive thing in a way, too.

[Tigra]

Beautiful little thread (in a sad way.)

Sending all my love your (and everybody who's lost somebody's) way.

Thank you, I appreciate that very much!

[Tigra]

Omg, it turned into so sad and depressing topic...

It's more sad and depressing to forget those who have touched us. A little sadness is a reminder of how special those people were, and still are.

And that's a pretty positive thing in a way, too.

It is, indeed.

But for the time being I just want them back - as childish as it is.

They were so special but the world didn't stop and the sun rises as usual. The same will happen when our time comes. And I dared to think that I mean something to this world, that I am useful. Somewhat ridiculous, isn't it?

Sorry to sound so bitter, I am not that way usually. It's just that death spared my family for the previous 10 years so suddenly when it came it hit my head with a hammer. I still didn't come to terms with its existence and inevitability. I'm like a child that is stomping his foot in anger, fully aware that it won't change anything.

But I really hope that someday - and rather sooner or later - this anger will be replaced by the feeling of gratefulness that I was so lucky having them in my life... :-)

[TenaciousBe]

Thank you for sharing! If I may share my story, my best friend was killed by a drunk driver when we were 21 (I'm 37 now). Of course this was long before AB, but he was the one who introduced me to Creed and had it not been for that, I probably never would have been as into AB as I am. So when I'm at shows and they play Blackbird, or In Loving Memory in the early days, I'm an ugly crying mess every time. The pain of loss never really gets any less intense, but it does get somewhat easier with time.

[Tigra]

What a disastrous story in the face of such tragedy it's hard to find any words...

But looking at it from a different perspective, isn't it funny/interesting/scary to some extent how small events from the past have a huge impact upon the later events in our life?
I mean, your friend introduced Creed to you -> then you liked AB -> you became a fan and a lot more happened/could happen because of that very first Creed's song you listened to due to your friend.
Amazing.

[TenaciousBe]

This is true! If I really want to trace it back... I became a Creed fan because of my friend introducing me to their music. Because I was such a huge Creed fan, I followed the boys to the formation of Alter Bridge. In doing so, I won an autographed PRS Tremonti SE guitar from the band's website when they first launched (actually, I received the email about winning the day after I'd been to see them play live for the first time!). Now, I'd always had sort of a dream of being in a band, but I didn't think it would ever happen because I didn't know how to play music or do anything musically, really, besides sing a little. Well, since I had that guitar, I butted in with some friends at work who were starting up a band, and next thing you know I was "guitarist" for a local crappy garage rock band. We never really got anywhere, but we wrote a bunch of songs and played a few shows at our local city park for a few summers. At one of those shows, I met this girl who was married at the time, but was really cool and we became friends (she had been friends with my singer back in high school). A couple years ago, she and her husband split up, and she and I started spending some time together -- one thing leads to another, and we just got married a couple months ago and have a baby on the way in August.

The extra strange part is, my old friend who passed away all those years ago, and my new best friend / wife, come to find out, were born on the same day (June 3, 1979). Crazy!

[Tigra]

OMG, what a story!!! Really incredible! When I wrote "a lot more happened/could happen because of that very first Creed's song you listened to due to your friend", I didn't expect such a great course of events

And there's a happy ending as well - congratulations on your "soon-to-come" baby! Is it your first child? If it is, it's going to be a hell of a ride, are you aware of that? ;-) ;-) ;-)

I recently had some bitter thoughts about how meaningless we are on this world but such stories prove the "butterfly effect" and that we are all somehow interconnected. So maybe we can survive it all (after all, "who's to say we won't" ;-)) Thanks for sharing that!