Talk about your memories relating to songs here

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maximzub
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Talk about your memories relating to songs here

Post by maximzub »

In this forum, you can share any songs that you closely associate with certain memories. According to research, music is the top source of media in terms of leaving an emotional impact on the brain, so it's understandable that certain songs mean something deep to you. Also, according to a local musician who organizes an Open Jam at a bar which I regularly attend (to play, not to drink...I'm underage), "Songs are all about the girl you were thinking of when you were listening to them!" Of course, it's a joke, but admit it. He's right!

This forum is a parallel to the "What the songs mean to you" subforum, but it is not limited to Alter Bridge.

Here's mine if you have time to read it:

I can tell stories specifically about how songs remind me of three different girls, and that would already take a long time. That’s not to mention everything else that songs can remind me of.

A lot of these explanations reference the lyrics of the songs.

I will be referring to those three girls not by their actual names, but by code names.

Silicate (Has a weird connection to her actual name) – Girl I met at the beginning of freshman year in August 2018. Only noticed her in January 2019, and accepted that I had a crush on her in May 2019. Feelings became more intense in September 2019, and then all my chances fell apart in October 2019. Only officially got over her in February 2021.

K (First letter of her name; there aren’t many K names) – Girl I met at the beginning of junior year in September 2020. Became friends by chance in October 2020. Caught feelings for her in December 2020 and confessed right away, which ended our friendship. Apologized for confessing and said goodbye in January 2021. Haven’t seen her since.

Anna (In conversations with others at school, I refer to her as that because I don’t want to give away who my crush is) – Girl I met at the beginning of sophomore year in August 2019. Became friends right away over shared interests in math and music. We did not keep much contact over the summer but reconnected in September 2020. Started to become close again in December 2020 following incident with K. I realized that I had feelings for her in January 2021. Since then, it’s been a roller coaster of emotions, hurt feelings, and broken hearts. We are currently keeping our distance from each other in an attempt to save our friendship. I’ve been keeping the Total Randomness Thread updated on the situation.


Metallica

Since Metallica songs are generally negative, most of them are associated with bad memories.

Fade To Black – Silicate. There was a time when I knew she was so hurt that I was afraid she would commit suicide, and this is an anti-suicide song.

The Call Of Ktulu – K. Shortly after losing her as a friend, every time I thought of her the intro arpeggio would play in my head.

Battery – Anna. This is an odd reason, but in May I decided to do an acoustic livestream. I chose 11 songs, and for the other 9, I posted Instagram surveys consisting of 15-second segments of four songs, followed by multiple-choice questions to figure out which song of the four I should play. She responded all 9 times. This was her choice for the first survey, which was between four heavy Metallica songs.

Harvester Of Sorrow – Silicate. The first day of sophomore year, I saw her for the first time in about three months, and I was stunned by her appearance. I was listening to this song when that happened.

Nothing Else Matters – Silicate and Anna. Silicate because there was some time in my life that I was convinced nothing in my life was important other than her. Anna because I’ve never opened myself that much to anybody outside of my family. Likewise, nobody has opened up that much to me outside of my family other than her. We’ve found a deeper connection, which I hope can lead to something with a happy ending. Also, she was the only person to vote for this song for my acoustic livestream.

Low Man’s Lyric – Anna. After my incident with K, I realized that I had to apologize to a lot of people for sharing too much, and for some, even hurting their feelings. Anna was the first person I apologized to (for sharing too much, she told me her feelings were not hurt). She also was one of the few that I apologized to in person, and she was the quickest to forgive me. We stopped by in a corner outside the hallway where our previous class was so we could talk face to face. To lighten up the mood, my first words were “Let me turn off Metallica”, followed by me taking out my headphones. I was listening to this song.

Whiskey In The Jar – Silicate, because she is of Irish descent, and this is a traditional Irish song.

Entire Death Magnetic album – Silicate. On the day I used to consider the best day of my life, I listened to this album in full. The most notable moment was during All Nightmare Long, when I saw her looking like never before, and my life changed.

The Unforgiven III (In addition to being on Death Magnetic) – K. We became friends after getting lost in PE class. Our teacher had not told us specifically whether we were to be inside or outside, and since it was nice weather, I walked outside, and she must have been thinking the same thing. When we realized that there was nobody else outside, we turned to walk back, but we got locked out! In the 10 minutes that we waited to be let in, The Unforgiven III was the only full song I listened to.

Hate Train – K. Listened to it right after The Unforgiven III on the day we got lost.

Hell And Back – Silicate. In the dying days of my obsession with her, I realized that the idea of her had been my source of comfort for a long time, but that it was a wrong source.

Moth Into Flame – Silicate. For a long time I thought that this was one of their most accessible songs (other than the lighter ballads, of course), and I imagined her liking it when I showed it to her. While I never got to, and while she probably wouldn’t have liked it anyway, it helped me like the song more.


Volbeat

I can honestly say that the combination of discovering Volbeat and falling in love with Silicate brought me to like love songs. Volbeat has plenty of these. Of course, other songs also appear on this list, mostly from Guitar Gangsters & Cadillac Blood, which is an album that has a secondary central theme of lost love.

Something Else Or… – Silicate. For a long time I lived under the lie that I needed her in my life. Turns out, I actually needed her out of my life. Hopefully that’s soon!

Always. Wu – Silicate. I always wanted to be with her, no matter what.

I Only Wanna Be With You – Silicate and Anna. When I showed him this song, my dad told me it would be a good song for me to cover, but that I should change the lyrics so it doesn’t sound like I’m reaching out to Silicate. Anna because, well, it’s a typical crushing song, and I’m only in the early stages of crushing on her. Also because she voted for it for my acoustic livestream.

Radio Girl – Silicate. The main character of the song wants to marry someone they can’t have.

Back To Prom – Silicate and Anna. Silicate because the song represents our situation very well: I kept pictures of her, I was heartbroken when I found out she was dating someone else, and I still believed she could be mine. Anna because she voted for the song for my acoustic livestream, and she actually really likes the song.

Maybellene I Hofteholder – Silicate. In this song, a stalker is following a girl around, trying in every possible way to get her attention. Once, he accidentally kills her, after which he is apologetic and prays that she be well. In the same way, I tried to get Silicate’s attention, to the point that I hurt her feelings. I prayed that she feel better in the days after the “big” incident, which I’m too scared to talk about to anyone.

We – Silicate. In the early days of crushing on her, I believed she felt the same way about me, but I was wrong about it.

Light A Way - Anna. It feels really spiritual, and she's probably the most religiously devoted person I know.

Making Believe – Silicate and K. Silicate because, after she turned me down, I could only pretend that she loved me back, while knowing in the back of my mind that it was impossible. It became even more relatable when she got a boyfriend. K because she already had a boyfriend when I caught feelings for her.

Who They Are – Anna. She voted for the song among other heavy Volbeat songs for my acoustic livestream, but I later told her that it was kind of a trick because I chose the nicest 15 seconds of the song. However, she still liked the song after listening to it in full.

A Better Believer – Silicate. I believed she was mine and that nobody could take her away from me. Until somebody did…

Magic Zone – Silicate. Another crooked happiness song.

Being 1 – Silicate. Yet another crooked happiness song.

Pearl Hart – K. When we walked outside, not knowing we were about to get lost, I was listening to this song.

My Body – Strongest reminder of Silicate. On the first day of sophomore year, at the end of lunch when we were waiting to be dismissed, I watched her from a distance. While I didn’t like this song much before, listening to it in this specific moment made me like it more. Of course, now that I don’t like her anymore, the song doesn’t mean anything positive to me.

The Bliss – A rare song that reminds me of all three. Silicate because I tried for a long time to figure her out after starting to like her. K because every time we talked was in PE class, so all of the sad moments between us happened then. Lunch was always right after PE, and I always listen to the same songs during lunch. Every time the middle section of The Bliss came up, I would feel much better about myself. Anna because I feel like I’m discovering her for the first time, and now I’m figuring her out. It’s also a new beginning because she offered to help save our friendship. Also reminds me of her because our first interaction since a self-imposed "break" from each other was me answering a question on her Instagram story about song recommendations. I suggested this song, and to my surprise, she not only shared my response with the caption "Oh cool!" but also saved it to her story highlights!

Rebound – Silicate. It’s a typical rejection song, and she is the only of the three girls that directly rejected me. K didn’t because she understood that I knew there was no way we could ever be together. Anna wasn’t direct about it because I never directly told her about my feelings, but she showed signs that she’s not yet interested.

Goodbye Forever – K. As I was counting the last minutes of our last PE class together, I felt I had to mentally prepare myself for saying goodbye, so I listened to this song. I later brought it up in our last conversation.

The Loa’s Crossroad – K. This might have been the song I was listening to the first time I (accidentally!) hit her in the head with a basketball. It happened four more times (accidentally!) and we eventually turned it into a joke.

Cloud 9 – Silicate and Anna. Both of them made me feel on Cloud 9.

Leviathan – Anna. She voted for this song for the acoustic livestream, and it was one of her three requests that won the vote.

The Awakening Of Bonnie Parker – Silicate and K. Silicate because every time I hear the female backing vocals in the chorus, I imagine her singing. (I have no idea if she can actually sing.) K because it was one of the songs I remember listening to during our first game of Lightning together. She won all but one round, and we later teased each other about it. (I coined the metaphor Beauty And The Beast because of this game; our teacher’s nickname is The Beast, and he and K were usually the last two standing in each round.)

Under The Influence – Silicate and Anna. It’s a sweet song about discovery of someone you love. Never really applied to K because I never had that strong feelings for her. I did show her the song, though.

Immortal But Destructible – Anna. She is the first girl that I am devoted to building a friendship with.


Alter Bridge

Alter Bridge doesn’t have that many happy songs, so most of these are sad. A good number of them relate to K because I mostly associate with her songs that I discovered more recently, since I also met her recently.

Shed My Skin – Anna. We recently started to set more boundaries so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. That’s when I realized I needed to reinvent myself in order to keep friends.

Blackbird – K. Being an overall sad song, I now can only associate it with the loss of her as a friend. That’s why I don’t listen to it anymore.

Watch Over You – Silicate and Anna. They were the only two crushes that I ever thought about futures with.

I Know It Hurts – Anna. The lyrics of the chorus, and the lyrics in general, sound like something she would say when trying to reassure me.

The Uninvited – K. I listened to this song in PE on January 7 while shooting hoops and watching her take a break. My intention for when the song was over was to walk up to her and apologize for confessing to her, but by the time the song was over, she too walked over to the court and started shooting. I then decided to take a break myself, and I chose to listen to one more song before finally walking up to her.

All Ends Well – K and Anna. K because I knew deep down that even though I was sad letting her go, I would get over her fast. Luckily, I did. Anna because of the motivational quotes she shares and writes; they have a similar message to this song. Also, regardless of the outcome between us, I believe everything is going to be fine on both our sides.

Cradle To The Grave – K. This song reminds me that nothing lasts forever, and I connected that to my dying friendship with her.

Godspeed – K. On the last day of PE class, I symbolically took my last basketball shot somewhere around the time this song started playing. When I sat down, I decided to look up the lyrics, and I immediately drew a connection to my friendship with K. This song and Goodbye Forever helped me get over her faster.


Pop Evil

Pop Evil has many emotional songs that hit you where it hurts. So most of these songs also remind me of sad memories.

Monster You Made – Silicate. Although I didn’t know the song back then, I apply it to the time period where I was hurt by rejection. It caused me to do things I later deeply regretted, all because she didn’t like me back.

Let It Go – Another rare song that reminds me of all three. Silicate because I really wanted her to let go of all our past, which of course never happened. K because, even though we had an amazing experience together, she taught me to let go of things I couldn’t have even when I deeply wanted them. Anna because, even though we’re both heartbroken, she wants to have another shot at friendship, and I want to see if that turns into something more.

Black & Blue – K. Remember when I said The Uninvited could have been the last song I listened to before apologizing to her, but then I decided to listen to one more song? This was that one more song. It might have even given me the courage to apologize to her in the first place.

Next Life – Silicate. I believed that by rejecting me when I clearly had deeper feelings for her, she had left me behind. For the next year and a half I was lost in nearly all my relationships (family, friends, classmates, etc.)

Goodbye My Friend – K. This showcases the angrier side of me after losing her as a friend.

Silence & Scars – K. I realized too late that confessing my feelings for her was wrong, and we could have been friends still if I hadn’t.

Behind Closed Doors – K. On January 7, I listened to this song during PE class, and it made me so angry that I hurled my basketball at the hoop as hard as I could during the screaming part of the song.

Welcome To Reality – Silicate and K. Both because it reminds me that I could never undo the wrongs I had done to them, and that I had to accept the situation for what it is. K also because this was one of the songs I listened to shortly before I got lost with her in PE class.

Breathe Again – Anna. I was listening to this song once while we were talking (both of us talk with one earbud in ‘cause we don’t wanna miss our music), and I told her I was listening to “djent”. When she asked me what that means, I offered her my headphones to listen to it. So she’s one of three people that’s ever shared my headphones. (One other story about that is coming up later.) She asked me to send the song to her so she could listen to it at home, and she told me she loved it! She said she listens to that kind of music all the time, and that she would add it to her playlist. She thanked me for introducing this song to her.


Bon Jovi

Most of these I associate with Anna because she’s a big-time Bon Jovi fan. True story – She’s actually the only girl I’ve ever asked out. When I heard that Bon Jovi would be touring in the summer of 2020, I asked if she wanted to go with me. She said no because she had some other event before it, and she wouldn’t have enough money after that. (Was she expecting to pay? Isn't that our parents' job?) Later I found out that I wouldn’t be able to go either because that was the day we were supposed to leave for Serbia to visit our family. Well, the shutdown happened, and none of those events (Serbia, Bon Jovi, or her event) happened. (I had to explain this here as I don’t tie this memory to any specific song.)

Livin’ On A Prayer and It’s My Life – Anna. We were talking about our music tastes, and I brought up all the songs that I listened to every day. I have been listening to these songs every school day one after another since freshman year. When I mentioned this, she was like “Yes!” Later, there were two school days when our math teacher was going to be gone for the school’s tennis tournament, and he asked for two volunteers to control the Spotify playlist for each day. He chose me as one of them, and Livin’ On A Prayer and It’s My Life were first on my playlist. Anna and I had so much fun lip-synching together to these! Unfortunately, things got out of control and one of my classmates ended up switching the playlist to something school-inappropriate!

Wild In The Streets – Anna. One time when I showed up to class, she asked me what I was listening to, and it was this song. I asked her if she knew Wild In The Streets, to which she said, “Of course!” More on that later…

Born To Be My Baby – Silicate and Anna. I have referred to this song as my “dating” song since mid-2018 when I first heard it. I always wanted my crushes to believe that we should be together. Doesn’t apply to K since I knew very well we would never end up together.

I Believe – K. This was the first song I listened to after I apologized to her on January 7, and it made me feel empowered.

Bed Of Roses – Silicate. I really only liked this song because it made me think of us kissing. Since then, I’ve grown to dislike the really slow love ballads.

Thank You For Loving Me – Anna. She deserves to be thanked for keeping our relationship stable despite any strain. Oddly enough, I actually haven’t heard this song in over two years, but I remember it well enough to be able to associate it this way.

Misunderstood – Silicate and K. K especially, because she misunderstood what I meant to say when I confessed that I had a crush on her. There wasn’t exactly a misunderstanding between me and Silicate, but it somewhat fits the situation.

Love Me Back To Life – Anna. After she told me that she knew Wild In The Streets, I gave her a challenge and asked her if she knew Love Me Back To Life. To my surprise, she did! It’s one of their most obscure songs, and she’s the only person I know that already knew the song without me introducing it first. Naturally, I learned to play and sing this song for her, and I recorded it and sent it to her. She liked it! (She also understood that it wasn’t because I had feelings for her, because I didn’t back then.)

I Want To Be Loved – Silicate and Anna. For 7 years I have wished to be loved back by whatever girl I was crushing on.

I Am – Silicate and Anna. Anna because I would like her to know that I’m there to support her when she is feeling down. Silicate for the same reason, but it’s more twisted.

Story Of My Life – Silicate and Anna. They will both be part of my life story for sure. Silicate because of the almost two years that I lost from being obsessed with her, which took its toll on my emotions. Anna because, even if we don’t end up together, I will always remember her as a good friend. And if we do, then she can write the story of my life with me!

Superman Tonight – Strongest reminder of Anna. On the first day of my junior year (September 2), I wasn’t feeling up to talking to anyone, so we didn’t even say hi to each other. On the second day (September 4), I was feeling ready to start talking and restarting old relationships, and Anna was one of those on my mind. Then when I walked into class, I saw her and she just looked amazing. I couldn’t manage to say anything more than hi, but she probably could tell that I was clearly happy to see her. Later that day I also saw Silicate for the first time in almost 6 months, which almost gave me a heart attack. And by that, I mean I was actually feeling chest pain upon seeing her. So I texted Anna saying that “I just about had a heart attack”, to which she didn’t respond. Then, as I was walking home from school, this song came on. It was only the second time I’d heard it, but listening to the lyrics, I figured out it was a song about discovery of a person you love without really knowing it. Since this was a side of her I had never seen before, I immediately made the connection from this song to the events that morning, and it softened me up enough to text her asking if we still had an agreement not to view each other as romantic interests. (I didn’t take it with any sad feelings when she said the agreement still stood, as I still felt like I was majorly in love with Silicate.) We have not brought that exchange up since. What I think is that this discovery might have been the first signs of my feelings for her.

When We Were Us – Silicate and Anna. Anna because we’ve had lots of fun together, and I hope to make more moments for years to come. Silicate for the same reason, but again, it’s twisted since we never really had those moments together.

Limitless – Anna. This was another one she requested for my acoustic livestream, and it won over three other Bon Jovi songs (including Love Me Back To Life – she told me later that it was a hard choice between the two). During the livestream, I dedicated the song to her (with her previous approval) for being “the biggest Bon Jovi fan I know”.


Godsmack

Under Your Scars – Silicate and Anna. Silicate because I still believed that we made sense to be together even after all the pain I’d caused her. Anna because I still believe we make sense to be together, and she is more likely to feel the same way if I give her enough time.

Someday – Strongest reminder of K. This was the last song I listened to before I confessed my feelings for her. The sadness associated with that makes me not able to listen to the song anymore. (There is no song that I associate with the similar events with Silicate.)


Charm City Devils

Spite – K. I made myself move on from her even though I knew it was good to have had her in my life.

Devil Is A Woman – K. Once in PE class, we played volleyball instead of basketball for a change. K and I were on opposing teams, and her team was beating us big time. After the match, we joked about our new rivalry in the class. The song that I was listening to during some of the key moments in the match was this song.

Start It Up – K. Shortly before I confessed to her, I was still shooting hoops while she was taking a break (our teacher let her – it was her birthday). During this song, I caught her staring at me. This was the only time I’ve ever seen a girl stare at me.


Muse

I don’t listen to Muse anymore except for one song, but that doesn’t stop me from tying memories of their songs to girls.

Undisclosed Desires – Silicate. Probably the second-strongest reminder of her after My Body. I heard this song for the second time (apparently second is a charm) while on a plane to Mexico in the summer of 2019, and it made me think of her. (Note that I rarely thought about any crushes that summer, so this was an odd occasion.) I listened to it a few more times that summer, and every time it would remind me of her. So I decided to listen to it every day at school starting with the beginning of sophomore year. Eventually, it evolved into the song I would listen to at the end of lunch while staring at her from across the room. I still listen to it at the end of lunch even though I don’t stare at her anymore, and recently I’ve been listening to the lyrics more. I feel like someday they can apply to Anna in a healthy way.

Resistance – Anna. This was the third of her votes for songs for my acoustic livestream that actually won.


The Avatars

The Avatars are a band from Rockford, Illinois, which is close to my hometown. Almost all their songs are about broken romantic relationships.

Only One – Silicate and Anna. Shortly after the high of being in love with Silicate wore off, I heard this song for the first time in a while, and it brought back the high. I listened to this song every day at school for months after that, after which it lost its charm. Anna because she voted for it for my acoustic livestream, without hearing it because the four songs to choose from were not available on Instagram, so I couldn’t put the 15-second clips before the survey.

Burn You – Silicate. It almost hurts to realize that this kind of angry-at-a-girl song now applies to her. Nevertheless, I am angry at her because I lost two years of my life obsessing over her when I could have done something else.


Other songs

Echo by Incubus – Silicate. I also heard this song for the second time on the plane to Mexico. It didn’t impact me as much as Undisclosed Desires, so it took me over a year to listen to again. By that time the sadness had already set in, so I don’t listen to it anymore.

The Reason by Hoobastank – All three. To this day, I have never found a song that describes my situation with girls more accurately. For Silicate, I felt that I should change in order to finally get her to like me. Now, I feel that I should change to prove that I’m over her, which she doesn’t know yet. For K, she inspired me to apologize to so many people in an effort to finally change, and we talked about that in our last conversation. For Anna, I am determined to change to disprove any rumors she has heard about me, and to possibly get her to like me back. If I don’t change, then I’m not just losing another chance at love, but also a good friend.

Dictator by Scars On Broadway – Silicate. This was the song I was listening to when I first spotted her holding hands with one of my old enemies, who later turned out to be her boyfriend. I was so angry that I actually punched a wall once she was out of sight.

Forever by Papa Roach – Silicate. Even though I don’t like her in the way I used to, I will still appreciate her for being a significant part of my life, even for the bad experiences. In that way, my feelings for her really are forever.

Crimson Day by Avenged Sevenfold – All three. I love them all so dearly.

I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles – Silicate and K. Silicate because I listened to this song for the first time in years on her 17th birthday. K because she was already 17 when I started crushing on her.

Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash – K. I once was listening to my band’s cover of this song, and I asked her if she wanted to listen to some of it. She did, and that’s the second time someone ever shared my headphones. (Can I mention that she looked insanely hot in that moment?)

Destruction Of Corruption (Original song) – K. I joked about the fact that the best way for me to get my heart rate up was to turn up the volume all the way on my phone. I was listening to this song, so I also told her that this was my song. When she said, “That’s cool”, I responded with “It’s not cool if you listen to it, because I don’t think most people would like it.”

I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty – Anna. It just happened to be this song that soundtracked the most romantic moment of my life. Our math teacher liked to play music from Spotify whenever we were given time to work, and this song was playing. Both she and I were lip-synching to it and having fun, and at some point, we started staring deeply into each other’s eyes. We broke contact after a few seconds and laughed about it being so awkward. (Note that this was over a year before I would start to have feelings for her.)

Patience by Guns N’ Roses – Anna. I am being patient in this slow progression of our relationship, and I am convinced that things will be just fine if we keep taking it slow.

Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison – Anna. I used to play this song acoustic with my band (now we play it electric), and we would trade off lead vocals. Every time I sang the chorus, I would replace “brown eyed girl” with “blue eyed girl” to reflect my crush on Silicate. (I didn’t know K back then, but she also has blue eyes.) Now, if I was to sing this song, I wouldn’t have to change the lyrics because Anna has brown eyes!

American Girl by Tom Petty – Anna. I don’t see why it shouldn’t remind me of all three, as they’re all American, but maybe there’s a weak association between this song and Anna because of our lip-synching moment with I Won’t Back Down, another Tom Petty song.
I'm in love with somebody...
Found someone who completes me...
I'm in love with somebody...
Oh yeah...
And it's Lzzy Hale!

MaraCarr wrote: It is not like a crush or a lust thing.
Check out my coolest TABN posts!
My Long Alter Bridge Facts Post
Order Of Me Hearing Alter Bridge Songs
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TenaciousBe
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Re: Talk about your memories relating to songs here

Post by TenaciousBe »

maximzub wrote: Sat Feb 13, 2021 6:43 pm In this forum, you can share any songs that you closely associate with certain memories. According to research, music is the top source of media in terms of leaving an emotional impact on the brain, so it's understandable that certain songs mean something deep to you. Also, according to a local musician who organizes an Open Jam at a bar which I regularly attend (to play, not to drink...I'm underage), "Songs are all about the girl you were thinking of when you were listening to them!" Of course, it's a joke, but admit it. He's right!

This forum is a parallel to the "What the songs mean to you" subforum, but it is not limited to Alter Bridge.

Here's mine if you have time to read it:

I can tell stories specifically about how songs remind me of three different girls, and that would already take a long time. That’s not to mention everything else that songs can remind me of.

A lot of these explanations reference the lyrics of the songs.

I will be referring to those three girls not by their actual names, but by code names.

Silicate (Has a weird connection to her actual name) – Girl I met at the beginning of freshman year in August 2018. Only noticed her in January 2019, and accepted that I had a crush on her in May 2019. Feelings became more intense in September 2019, and then all my chances fell apart in October 2019. Only officially got over her in February 2021.

K (First letter of her name; there aren’t many K names) – Girl I met at the beginning of junior year in September 2020. Became friends by chance in October 2020. Caught feelings for her in December 2020 and confessed right away, which ended our friendship. Apologized for confessing and said goodbye in January 2021. Haven’t seen her since.

Anna (In conversations with others at school, I refer to her as that because I don’t want to give away who my crush is) – Girl I met at the beginning of sophomore year in August 2019. Became friends right away over shared interests in math and music. We did not keep much contact over the summer but reconnected in September 2020. Started to become close again in December 2020 following incident with K. I realized that I had feelings for her in January 2021. Since then, it’s been a roller coaster of emotions, hurt feelings, and broken hearts. We are currently keeping our distance from each other in an attempt to save our friendship. I’ve been keeping the Total Randomness Thread updated on the situation.


Metallica

Since Metallica songs are generally negative, most of them are associated with bad memories.

Fade To Black – Silicate. There was a time when I knew she was so hurt that I was afraid she would commit suicide, and this is an anti-suicide song.

The Call Of Ktulu – K. Shortly after losing her as a friend, every time I thought of her the intro arpeggio would play in my head.

Battery – Anna. This is an odd reason, but in May I decided to do an acoustic livestream. I chose 11 songs, and for the other 9, I posted Instagram surveys consisting of 15-second segments of four songs, followed by multiple-choice questions to figure out which song of the four I should play. She responded all 9 times. This was her choice for the first survey, which was between four heavy Metallica songs.

Harvester Of Sorrow – Silicate. The first day of sophomore year, I saw her for the first time in about three months, and I was stunned by her appearance. I was listening to this song when that happened.

Nothing Else Matters – Silicate and Anna. Silicate because there was some time in my life that I was convinced nothing in my life was important other than her. Anna because I’ve never opened myself that much to anybody outside of my family. Likewise, nobody has opened up that much to me outside of my family other than her. We’ve found a deeper connection, which I hope can lead to something with a happy ending. Also, she was the only person to vote for this song for my acoustic livestream.

Low Man’s Lyric – Anna. After my incident with K, I realized that I had to apologize to a lot of people for sharing too much, and for some, even hurting their feelings. Anna was the first person I apologized to (for sharing too much, she told me her feelings were not hurt). She also was one of the few that I apologized to in person, and she was the quickest to forgive me. We stopped by in a corner outside the hallway where our previous class was so we could talk face to face. To lighten up the mood, my first words were “Let me turn off Metallica”, followed by me taking out my headphones. I was listening to this song.

Whiskey In The Jar – Silicate, because she is of Irish descent, and this is a traditional Irish song.

Entire Death Magnetic album – Silicate. On the day I used to consider the best day of my life, I listened to this album in full. The most notable moment was during All Nightmare Long, when I saw her looking like never before, and my life changed.

The Unforgiven III (In addition to being on Death Magnetic) – K. We became friends after getting lost in PE class. Our teacher had not told us specifically whether we were to be inside or outside, and since it was nice weather, I walked outside, and she must have been thinking the same thing. When we realized that there was nobody else outside, we turned to walk back, but we got locked out! In the 10 minutes that we waited to be let in, The Unforgiven III was the only full song I listened to.

Hate Train – K. Listened to it right after The Unforgiven III on the day we got lost.

Hell And Back – Silicate. In the dying days of my obsession with her, I realized that the idea of her had been my source of comfort for a long time, but that it was a wrong source.

Moth Into Flame – Silicate. For a long time I thought that this was one of their most accessible songs (other than the lighter ballads, of course), and I imagined her liking it when I showed it to her. While I never got to, and while she probably wouldn’t have liked it anyway, it helped me like the song more.


Volbeat

I can honestly say that the combination of discovering Volbeat and falling in love with Silicate brought me to like love songs. Volbeat has plenty of these. Of course, other songs also appear on this list, mostly from Guitar Gangsters & Cadillac Blood, which is an album that has a secondary central theme of lost love.

Something Else Or… – Silicate. For a long time I lived under the lie that I needed her in my life. Turns out, I actually needed her out of my life. Hopefully that’s soon!

Always. Wu – Silicate. I always wanted to be with her, no matter what.

I Only Wanna Be With You – Silicate and Anna. When I showed him this song, my dad told me it would be a good song for me to cover, but that I should change the lyrics so it doesn’t sound like I’m reaching out to Silicate. Anna because, well, it’s a typical crushing song, and I’m only in the early stages of crushing on her. Also because she voted for it for my acoustic livestream.

Radio Girl – Silicate. The main character of the song wants to marry someone they can’t have.

Back To Prom – Silicate and Anna. Silicate because the song represents our situation very well: I kept pictures of her, I was heartbroken when I found out she was dating someone else, and I still believed she could be mine. Anna because she voted for the song for my acoustic livestream, and she actually really likes the song.

Maybellene I Hofteholder – Silicate. In this song, a stalker is following a girl around, trying in every possible way to get her attention. Once, he accidentally kills her, after which he is apologetic and prays that she be well. In the same way, I tried to get Silicate’s attention, to the point that I hurt her feelings. I prayed that she feel better in the days after the “big” incident, which I’m too scared to talk about to anyone.

We – Silicate. In the early days of crushing on her, I believed she felt the same way about me, but I was wrong about it.

Light A Way - Anna. It feels really spiritual, and she's probably the most religiously devoted person I know.

Making Believe – Silicate and K. Silicate because, after she turned me down, I could only pretend that she loved me back, while knowing in the back of my mind that it was impossible. It became even more relatable when she got a boyfriend. K because she already had a boyfriend when I caught feelings for her.

Who They Are – Anna. She voted for the song among other heavy Volbeat songs for my acoustic livestream, but I later told her that it was kind of a trick because I chose the nicest 15 seconds of the song. However, she still liked the song after listening to it in full.

A Better Believer – Silicate. I believed she was mine and that nobody could take her away from me. Until somebody did…

Magic Zone – Silicate. Another crooked happiness song.

Being 1 – Silicate. Yet another crooked happiness song.

Pearl Hart – K. When we walked outside, not knowing we were about to get lost, I was listening to this song.

My Body – Strongest reminder of Silicate. On the first day of sophomore year, at the end of lunch when we were waiting to be dismissed, I watched her from a distance. While I didn’t like this song much before, listening to it in this specific moment made me like it more. Of course, now that I don’t like her anymore, the song doesn’t mean anything positive to me.

The Bliss – A rare song that reminds me of all three. Silicate because I tried for a long time to figure her out after starting to like her. K because every time we talked was in PE class, so all of the sad moments between us happened then. Lunch was always right after PE, and I always listen to the same songs during lunch. Every time the middle section of The Bliss came up, I would feel much better about myself. Anna because I feel like I’m discovering her for the first time, and now I’m figuring her out. It’s also a new beginning because she offered to help save our friendship. Also reminds me of her because our first interaction since a self-imposed "break" from each other was me answering a question on her Instagram story about song recommendations. I suggested this song, and to my surprise, she not only shared my response with the caption "Oh cool!" but also saved it to her story highlights!

Rebound – Silicate. It’s a typical rejection song, and she is the only of the three girls that directly rejected me. K didn’t because she understood that I knew there was no way we could ever be together. Anna wasn’t direct about it because I never directly told her about my feelings, but she showed signs that she’s not yet interested.

Goodbye Forever – K. As I was counting the last minutes of our last PE class together, I felt I had to mentally prepare myself for saying goodbye, so I listened to this song. I later brought it up in our last conversation.

The Loa’s Crossroad – K. This might have been the song I was listening to the first time I (accidentally!) hit her in the head with a basketball. It happened four more times (accidentally!) and we eventually turned it into a joke.

Cloud 9 – Silicate and Anna. Both of them made me feel on Cloud 9.

Leviathan – Anna. She voted for this song for the acoustic livestream, and it was one of her three requests that won the vote.

The Awakening Of Bonnie Parker – Silicate and K. Silicate because every time I hear the female backing vocals in the chorus, I imagine her singing. (I have no idea if she can actually sing.) K because it was one of the songs I remember listening to during our first game of Lightning together. She won all but one round, and we later teased each other about it. (I coined the metaphor Beauty And The Beast because of this game; our teacher’s nickname is The Beast, and he and K were usually the last two standing in each round.)

Under The Influence – Silicate and Anna. It’s a sweet song about discovery of someone you love. Never really applied to K because I never had that strong feelings for her. I did show her the song, though.

Immortal But Destructible – Anna. She is the first girl that I am devoted to building a friendship with.


Alter Bridge

Alter Bridge doesn’t have that many happy songs, so most of these are sad. A good number of them relate to K because I mostly associate with her songs that I discovered more recently, since I also met her recently.

Shed My Skin – Anna. We recently started to set more boundaries so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. That’s when I realized I needed to reinvent myself in order to keep friends.

Blackbird – K. Being an overall sad song, I now can only associate it with the loss of her as a friend. That’s why I don’t listen to it anymore.

Watch Over You – Silicate and Anna. They were the only two crushes that I ever thought about futures with.

I Know It Hurts – Anna. The lyrics of the chorus, and the lyrics in general, sound like something she would say when trying to reassure me.

The Uninvited – K. I listened to this song in PE on January 7 while shooting hoops and watching her take a break. My intention for when the song was over was to walk up to her and apologize for confessing to her, but by the time the song was over, she too walked over to the court and started shooting. I then decided to take a break myself, and I chose to listen to one more song before finally walking up to her.

All Ends Well – K and Anna. K because I knew deep down that even though I was sad letting her go, I would get over her fast. Luckily, I did. Anna because of the motivational quotes she shares and writes; they have a similar message to this song. Also, regardless of the outcome between us, I believe everything is going to be fine on both our sides.

Cradle To The Grave – K. This song reminds me that nothing lasts forever, and I connected that to my dying friendship with her.

Godspeed – K. On the last day of PE class, I symbolically took my last basketball shot somewhere around the time this song started playing. When I sat down, I decided to look up the lyrics, and I immediately drew a connection to my friendship with K. This song and Goodbye Forever helped me get over her faster.


Pop Evil

Pop Evil has many emotional songs that hit you where it hurts. So most of these songs also remind me of sad memories.

Monster You Made – Silicate. Although I didn’t know the song back then, I apply it to the time period where I was hurt by rejection. It caused me to do things I later deeply regretted, all because she didn’t like me back.

Let It Go – Another rare song that reminds me of all three. Silicate because I really wanted her to let go of all our past, which of course never happened. K because, even though we had an amazing experience together, she taught me to let go of things I couldn’t have even when I deeply wanted them. Anna because, even though we’re both heartbroken, she wants to have another shot at friendship, and I want to see if that turns into something more.

Black & Blue – K. Remember when I said The Uninvited could have been the last song I listened to before apologizing to her, but then I decided to listen to one more song? This was that one more song. It might have even given me the courage to apologize to her in the first place.

Next Life – Silicate. I believed that by rejecting me when I clearly had deeper feelings for her, she had left me behind. For the next year and a half I was lost in nearly all my relationships (family, friends, classmates, etc.)

Goodbye My Friend – K. This showcases the angrier side of me after losing her as a friend.

Silence & Scars – K. I realized too late that confessing my feelings for her was wrong, and we could have been friends still if I hadn’t.

Behind Closed Doors – K. On January 7, I listened to this song during PE class, and it made me so angry that I hurled my basketball at the hoop as hard as I could during the screaming part of the song.

Welcome To Reality – Silicate and K. Both because it reminds me that I could never undo the wrongs I had done to them, and that I had to accept the situation for what it is. K also because this was one of the songs I listened to shortly before I got lost with her in PE class.

Breathe Again – Anna. I was listening to this song once while we were talking (both of us talk with one earbud in ‘cause we don’t wanna miss our music), and I told her I was listening to “djent”. When she asked me what that means, I offered her my headphones to listen to it. So she’s one of three people that’s ever shared my headphones. (One other story about that is coming up later.) She asked me to send the song to her so she could listen to it at home, and she told me she loved it! She said she listens to that kind of music all the time, and that she would add it to her playlist. She thanked me for introducing this song to her.


Bon Jovi

Most of these I associate with Anna because she’s a big-time Bon Jovi fan. True story – She’s actually the only girl I’ve ever asked out. When I heard that Bon Jovi would be touring in the summer of 2020, I asked if she wanted to go with me. She said no because she had some other event before it, and she wouldn’t have enough money after that. (Was she expecting to pay? Isn't that our parents' job?) Later I found out that I wouldn’t be able to go either because that was the day we were supposed to leave for Serbia to visit our family. Well, the shutdown happened, and none of those events (Serbia, Bon Jovi, or her event) happened. (I had to explain this here as I don’t tie this memory to any specific song.)

Livin’ On A Prayer and It’s My Life – Anna. We were talking about our music tastes, and I brought up all the songs that I listened to every day. I have been listening to these songs every school day one after another since freshman year. When I mentioned this, she was like “Yes!” Later, there were two school days when our math teacher was going to be gone for the school’s tennis tournament, and he asked for two volunteers to control the Spotify playlist for each day. He chose me as one of them, and Livin’ On A Prayer and It’s My Life were first on my playlist. Anna and I had so much fun lip-synching together to these! Unfortunately, things got out of control and one of my classmates ended up switching the playlist to something school-inappropriate!

Wild In The Streets – Anna. One time when I showed up to class, she asked me what I was listening to, and it was this song. I asked her if she knew Wild In The Streets, to which she said, “Of course!” More on that later…

Born To Be My Baby – Silicate and Anna. I have referred to this song as my “dating” song since mid-2018 when I first heard it. I always wanted my crushes to believe that we should be together. Doesn’t apply to K since I knew very well we would never end up together.

I Believe – K. This was the first song I listened to after I apologized to her on January 7, and it made me feel empowered.

Bed Of Roses – Silicate. I really only liked this song because it made me think of us kissing. Since then, I’ve grown to dislike the really slow love ballads.

Thank You For Loving Me – Anna. She deserves to be thanked for keeping our relationship stable despite any strain. Oddly enough, I actually haven’t heard this song in over two years, but I remember it well enough to be able to associate it this way.

Misunderstood – Silicate and K. K especially, because she misunderstood what I meant to say when I confessed that I had a crush on her. There wasn’t exactly a misunderstanding between me and Silicate, but it somewhat fits the situation.

Love Me Back To Life – Anna. After she told me that she knew Wild In The Streets, I gave her a challenge and asked her if she knew Love Me Back To Life. To my surprise, she did! It’s one of their most obscure songs, and she’s the only person I know that already knew the song without me introducing it first. Naturally, I learned to play and sing this song for her, and I recorded it and sent it to her. She liked it! (She also understood that it wasn’t because I had feelings for her, because I didn’t back then.)

I Want To Be Loved – Silicate and Anna. For 7 years I have wished to be loved back by whatever girl I was crushing on.

I Am – Silicate and Anna. Anna because I would like her to know that I’m there to support her when she is feeling down. Silicate for the same reason, but it’s more twisted.

Story Of My Life – Silicate and Anna. They will both be part of my life story for sure. Silicate because of the almost two years that I lost from being obsessed with her, which took its toll on my emotions. Anna because, even if we don’t end up together, I will always remember her as a good friend. And if we do, then she can write the story of my life with me!

Superman Tonight – Strongest reminder of Anna. On the first day of my junior year (September 2), I wasn’t feeling up to talking to anyone, so we didn’t even say hi to each other. On the second day (September 4), I was feeling ready to start talking and restarting old relationships, and Anna was one of those on my mind. Then when I walked into class, I saw her and she just looked amazing. I couldn’t manage to say anything more than hi, but she probably could tell that I was clearly happy to see her. Later that day I also saw Silicate for the first time in almost 6 months, which almost gave me a heart attack. And by that, I mean I was actually feeling chest pain upon seeing her. So I texted Anna saying that “I just about had a heart attack”, to which she didn’t respond. Then, as I was walking home from school, this song came on. It was only the second time I’d heard it, but listening to the lyrics, I figured out it was a song about discovery of a person you love without really knowing it. Since this was a side of her I had never seen before, I immediately made the connection from this song to the events that morning, and it softened me up enough to text her asking if we still had an agreement not to view each other as romantic interests. (I didn’t take it with any sad feelings when she said the agreement still stood, as I still felt like I was majorly in love with Silicate.) We have not brought that exchange up since. What I think is that this discovery might have been the first signs of my feelings for her.

When We Were Us – Silicate and Anna. Anna because we’ve had lots of fun together, and I hope to make more moments for years to come. Silicate for the same reason, but again, it’s twisted since we never really had those moments together.

Limitless – Anna. This was another one she requested for my acoustic livestream, and it won over three other Bon Jovi songs (including Love Me Back To Life – she told me later that it was a hard choice between the two). During the livestream, I dedicated the song to her (with her previous approval) for being “the biggest Bon Jovi fan I know”.


Godsmack

Under Your Scars – Silicate and Anna. Silicate because I still believed that we made sense to be together even after all the pain I’d caused her. Anna because I still believe we make sense to be together, and she is more likely to feel the same way if I give her enough time.

Someday – Strongest reminder of K. This was the last song I listened to before I confessed my feelings for her. The sadness associated with that makes me not able to listen to the song anymore. (There is no song that I associate with the similar events with Silicate.)


Charm City Devils

Spite – K. I made myself move on from her even though I knew it was good to have had her in my life.

Devil Is A Woman – K. Once in PE class, we played volleyball instead of basketball for a change. K and I were on opposing teams, and her team was beating us big time. After the match, we joked about our new rivalry in the class. The song that I was listening to during some of the key moments in the match was this song.

Start It Up – K. Shortly before I confessed to her, I was still shooting hoops while she was taking a break (our teacher let her – it was her birthday). During this song, I caught her staring at me. This was the only time I’ve ever seen a girl stare at me.


Muse

I don’t listen to Muse anymore except for one song, but that doesn’t stop me from tying memories of their songs to girls.

Undisclosed Desires – Silicate. Probably the second-strongest reminder of her after My Body. I heard this song for the second time (apparently second is a charm) while on a plane to Mexico in the summer of 2019, and it made me think of her. (Note that I rarely thought about any crushes that summer, so this was an odd occasion.) I listened to it a few more times that summer, and every time it would remind me of her. So I decided to listen to it every day at school starting with the beginning of sophomore year. Eventually, it evolved into the song I would listen to at the end of lunch while staring at her from across the room. I still listen to it at the end of lunch even though I don’t stare at her anymore, and recently I’ve been listening to the lyrics more. I feel like someday they can apply to Anna in a healthy way.

Resistance – Anna. This was the third of her votes for songs for my acoustic livestream that actually won.


The Avatars

The Avatars are a band from Rockford, Illinois, which is close to my hometown. Almost all their songs are about broken romantic relationships.

Only One – Silicate and Anna. Shortly after the high of being in love with Silicate wore off, I heard this song for the first time in a while, and it brought back the high. I listened to this song every day at school for months after that, after which it lost its charm. Anna because she voted for it for my acoustic livestream, without hearing it because the four songs to choose from were not available on Instagram, so I couldn’t put the 15-second clips before the survey.

Burn You – Silicate. It almost hurts to realize that this kind of angry-at-a-girl song now applies to her. Nevertheless, I am angry at her because I lost two years of my life obsessing over her when I could have done something else.


Other songs

Echo by Incubus – Silicate. I also heard this song for the second time on the plane to Mexico. It didn’t impact me as much as Undisclosed Desires, so it took me over a year to listen to again. By that time the sadness had already set in, so I don’t listen to it anymore.

The Reason by Hoobastank – All three. To this day, I have never found a song that describes my situation with girls more accurately. For Silicate, I felt that I should change in order to finally get her to like me. Now, I feel that I should change to prove that I’m over her, which she doesn’t know yet. For K, she inspired me to apologize to so many people in an effort to finally change, and we talked about that in our last conversation. For Anna, I am determined to change to disprove any rumors she has heard about me, and to possibly get her to like me back. If I don’t change, then I’m not just losing another chance at love, but also a good friend.

Dictator by Scars On Broadway – Silicate. This was the song I was listening to when I first spotted her holding hands with one of my old enemies, who later turned out to be her boyfriend. I was so angry that I actually punched a wall once she was out of sight.

Forever by Papa Roach – Silicate. Even though I don’t like her in the way I used to, I will still appreciate her for being a significant part of my life, even for the bad experiences. In that way, my feelings for her really are forever.

Crimson Day by Avenged Sevenfold – All three. I love them all so dearly.

I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles – Silicate and K. Silicate because I listened to this song for the first time in years on her 17th birthday. K because she was already 17 when I started crushing on her.

Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash – K. I once was listening to my band’s cover of this song, and I asked her if she wanted to listen to some of it. She did, and that’s the second time someone ever shared my headphones. (Can I mention that she looked insanely hot in that moment?)

Destruction Of Corruption (Original song) – K. I joked about the fact that the best way for me to get my heart rate up was to turn up the volume all the way on my phone. I was listening to this song, so I also told her that this was my song. When she said, “That’s cool”, I responded with “It’s not cool if you listen to it, because I don’t think most people would like it.”

I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty – Anna. It just happened to be this song that soundtracked the most romantic moment of my life. Our math teacher liked to play music from Spotify whenever we were given time to work, and this song was playing. Both she and I were lip-synching to it and having fun, and at some point, we started staring deeply into each other’s eyes. We broke contact after a few seconds and laughed about it being so awkward. (Note that this was over a year before I would start to have feelings for her.)

Patience by Guns N’ Roses – Anna. I am being patient in this slow progression of our relationship, and I am convinced that things will be just fine if we keep taking it slow.

Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison – Anna. I used to play this song acoustic with my band (now we play it electric), and we would trade off lead vocals. Every time I sang the chorus, I would replace “brown eyed girl” with “blue eyed girl” to reflect my crush on Silicate. (I didn’t know K back then, but she also has blue eyes.) Now, if I was to sing this song, I wouldn’t have to change the lyrics because Anna has brown eyes!

American Girl by Tom Petty – Anna. I don’t see why it shouldn’t remind me of all three, as they’re all American, but maybe there’s a weak association between this song and Anna because of our lip-synching moment with I Won’t Back Down, another Tom Petty song.
I don't know how I never saw this post before, but this is a rad idea. When I have more time, I'm going to sit down and really read this over, and try to do one of my own. :)
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maximzub
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Re: Talk about your memories relating to songs here

Post by maximzub »

TenaciousBe wrote: Fri Sep 09, 2022 4:25 am I don't know how I never saw this post before, but this is a rad idea. When I have more time, I'm going to sit down and really read this over, and try to do one of my own. :)
I'm surprised how you found something I posted a year and a half ago. I kinda regret posting it because it shows just how obsessed I once was with some girls and how limited my music taste was back then. I think I'm going to redo that post.
I'm in love with somebody...
Found someone who completes me...
I'm in love with somebody...
Oh yeah...
And it's Lzzy Hale!

MaraCarr wrote: It is not like a crush or a lust thing.
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TenaciousBe
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Re: Talk about your memories relating to songs here

Post by TenaciousBe »

maximzub wrote: Fri Sep 09, 2022 10:55 am
TenaciousBe wrote: Fri Sep 09, 2022 4:25 am I don't know how I never saw this post before, but this is a rad idea. When I have more time, I'm going to sit down and really read this over, and try to do one of my own. :)
I'm surprised how you found something I posted a year and a half ago. I kinda regret posting it because it shows just how obsessed I once was with some girls and how limited my music taste was back then. I think I'm going to redo that post.
Sadly, this section doesn't get a ton of action, so it's not hard to find stuff from eons ago. lol
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